Jan. 6th, 2011

kebab1806: (awesome)
Hi guys

I gonna warn you, this is me pissing and moaning, so if you don't want my shit stop reading now :)

I'm am so fucked off at the moment, I want to move out and go somewhere that my family can't find me.....EVER.

My sister rings me at work today to say that they are booking the annual holiday that we all go on with my brother-in-law's family. Instead of the week we'd talked about, they've booked it for a couple of weeks later when it costs another £200. Fair enough between seven of us it's not that much more, but if I want to do some of the stuff I want to do for me this year I've gotta be careful.

Not only that but I don't even want to go, why am I? Well it's cos I'm too soft...

1) If I don't go my Dad won't either and there's no way on God's green earth that I am looking after him on my own for a week....NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!

2) If I don't go and by some miracle Dad still goes there's not enough space in the other two cars for them and the dog. Muggings 'ere is the designated driver, which I'm not even asked about just taken for granted that I'll drive.

3) If either of the above happens it means my Mum won't have her holiday this year, which will all be down to me. She deserves and needs it, I can't do it to her.


*whiney voice* I don't wanna go to the Isle of Wight, I don't wanna go on a ferry, I don't wanna drive the car onto a ferry. It's all kid orientated and I don't want to waste a week of my holiday playing babysitter again. I don't particularly like his parents and I hate that I can't be me for a week. Plus if we go out Dad'll complain the whole time and bring us all down. I would be less stressed going to work and at the moment that's saying something.

I was hoping typing this might get it off my chest, but instead I realise how royally screwed I am. I don't wanna live here anymore, I want my own space where I can be selfish and do stuff for me and not other people. Why the fuck did I let those assholes in my past get me in this much debt that at nearly 34 I can't afford to live on my own.

I'm sorry guys, don't mean to bring you down or anything, I was just hoping it'd help.

Hope you're all having good weeks, Friday tomorrow \0/
kebab1806: (Mmm)
1) Go to Asylum in October with [livejournal.com profile] heartsonwings \0/

2) Look into going to Leverage convention

3) Go see Kane if they're back over here

4) Try to save up to pay off loan (you've gotta be kidding)

5) Lose 5 stone (70lbs/32kgs) think I converted that right *scratches head*

6) Come up with bunny by September for [livejournal.com profile] alienat because she is made of win.

7) Try and finish fic that I have started.

8) Organise weekly posts before the day they're due to save on the panic

9) Try to meet as many LJ friends as possible

OK lets see how I do, I'll check back this time next year.
kebab1806: (Dean - Huh?)
I promise this is the last post I'll bother you with today. Although three in one day, I think that's gotta be a record.

So yesterday, I was given the challenge of coming up with a bunny for [livejournal.com profile] alienat by September. Which I've started, but while I was pondering something else crept into my brain and kinda took over. So I thought, I'll write it down, get it out of my system and she can choose from the two. Trouble is, I'm still writing down the back story of one of the characters and I'm three pages in. It's also kinda sounding like I'm writing a fic *frowns*

Now this is something I know I'll suck at, but I think the only way to purge is to write it. If I post the first bit when I get to a break would you all read it over and see if it's readable? It may just be that [livejournal.com profile] alienat gets a really, really detailed bunny cos I'm not sure I can finish it. I would want you all to be brutally honest, if it's the most boring thing you've ever read tell me, if it's painful to read tell me....you get the picture.

So what do you think? Should I post it?


kebab1806: (Default)

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