kebab1806: (Default)
Yes I'm back and moaning again, sorry. I'm just a little miffed at something my sister said to me today. It's in their will that if, god forbid, anything happens to them that the children would go and stay with his sister. My sister informed me today that she wanted to get this changed now, apparantly they don't feel that his sister raises her child the way they would. They're not criticising her or anything just that there's different ideas involved, you know how it is. She then goes on to say that even though she doesn't want her sister in law raising them, she can't think of anyone else suitable. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have kids for a reason, that being I don't want them, but if anything happened and the girls were left without parents I would step up cos I love them. I kinda asked why I wasn't suitable, I know asking for trouble right? Anyway she said in a round about way that I couldn't look after myself how was I gonna raise two kids.

Now I know I still live with the olds, but thats largely due to the fact that Mum can't cope on her own with Dad. I've tried it, I moved out for nearly a year and Mum got really ill from the stress so I moved back. I could afford to move out if I got rid of my car etc which I would happily do if I could.

So the long and short of it is, I now feel like my little sister is treating me like a child, I'm not happy about it, it's made me cry and the more I think about it the worse I get. So yeah that's it, just needed to get it off my chest really, so if you've read this far sorry for unloading on ya.

In other news, the sponsored walk/run went well Saturday, thank you to everyone that sponsored me, we've raised nearly £4,000 in total with the raffle, auction etc....it was loads of fun and well worth the agony I've been in this week.

I hope all my lovely flist are doing well

*hugs each and every one of ya*
kebab1806: (awesome)
Hi guys

I gonna warn you, this is me pissing and moaning, so if you don't want my shit stop reading now :)

I'm am so fucked off at the moment, I want to move out and go somewhere that my family can't find me.....EVER.

My sister rings me at work today to say that they are booking the annual holiday that we all go on with my brother-in-law's family. Instead of the week we'd talked about, they've booked it for a couple of weeks later when it costs another £200. Fair enough between seven of us it's not that much more, but if I want to do some of the stuff I want to do for me this year I've gotta be careful.

Not only that but I don't even want to go, why am I? Well it's cos I'm too soft...

1) If I don't go my Dad won't either and there's no way on God's green earth that I am looking after him on my own for a week....NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!

2) If I don't go and by some miracle Dad still goes there's not enough space in the other two cars for them and the dog. Muggings 'ere is the designated driver, which I'm not even asked about just taken for granted that I'll drive.

3) If either of the above happens it means my Mum won't have her holiday this year, which will all be down to me. She deserves and needs it, I can't do it to her.

FUCK!!!!!

*whiney voice* I don't wanna go to the Isle of Wight, I don't wanna go on a ferry, I don't wanna drive the car onto a ferry. It's all kid orientated and I don't want to waste a week of my holiday playing babysitter again. I don't particularly like his parents and I hate that I can't be me for a week. Plus if we go out Dad'll complain the whole time and bring us all down. I would be less stressed going to work and at the moment that's saying something.

I was hoping typing this might get it off my chest, but instead I realise how royally screwed I am. I don't wanna live here anymore, I want my own space where I can be selfish and do stuff for me and not other people. Why the fuck did I let those assholes in my past get me in this much debt that at nearly 34 I can't afford to live on my own.

I'm sorry guys, don't mean to bring you down or anything, I was just hoping it'd help.

Hope you're all having good weeks, Friday tomorrow \0/

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kebab1806

November 2011

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